I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
