Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
