If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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