no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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