after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
