i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
