I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
