trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
