how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
