community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
