Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
NoShamevember. You game?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
