taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
