do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize