it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
