Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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