people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
