I want to stick my p in your. b.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Your cock deserves a montage
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
