I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
