haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
