I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
