i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
