at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
