Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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