He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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