Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
