Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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