When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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