All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
