I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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