is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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