I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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