I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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