Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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