rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
