Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
