..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
