I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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