Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
