The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
