She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
