Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you didnt know i had herpes?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
