great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
