i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
