Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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