first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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