im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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