Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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