Pappa wants mamma naked
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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