Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
