he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
