i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
