He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
