i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
