you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
