Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
