yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
