there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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