Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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