Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
