I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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