wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
