if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
