So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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