Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
