her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
